Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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