Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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