My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
