This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
