Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize