I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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