He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
