One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
