Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
