Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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