we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
