my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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