My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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