Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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