Don't you send me to vm
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
