So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
