Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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