They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
