I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
