Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
