I wish I could teleport
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
