I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
