My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
