Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
