we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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