you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
