She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
