I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
