There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
