the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
