TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Randomize
