flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
