So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
