I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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