roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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