and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
