Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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