im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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