How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
