how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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