Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
dude. I can hear the air.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
