so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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