Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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