I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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