some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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