Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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