The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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