How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
