hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
did you just send me my own nude
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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