He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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